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SENTINEL POETRY OPEN FORUM
Welcome to the Sentinel Poetry Open Forum. You may post a poem of any length, theme or style here. Please be aware that children might read these poems, so please go easy on bad language. A forum only makes sense when people comment on each other's work, so let's get this forum going. |
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| Viewing Page 1 of 1 (Total Posts: 2) |
| Author | Comment |
Hayden
Jul 27, 06 - 12:46 PM |
Sullen
Sudden cuts, ring round the sun, gliding through soft space time, taste the bitter fizz, the whirling sensation of a thousand moments, all in one, tiny, moment. Chased by unknown entities, hands tremble, grieve stricken streets pass by, grimy walls drift apart, more and more and more, neverending concrete slips into night, swallowed by deaths hand. Gold sways with flittering yellow, dancing skies of pink and green, touch the dirty, soft blue grass, its all real, Sun slips through butterfingers, bouncing on the horizon, for me to stare. every step moves all around me, a variable in this ever mathamatical world, cause and effect, my simple utter changes the worlds contrast, black to white to blue and red, next to me a murmer, i stumble, clutching broken chords, snapped strings, lost reeds, open mouth responds in silence. And i cast my hand upon the concrete, it crumbles, and i know you know, im lost. |
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Lucy
Sep 11th, 2006 - 12:54 AM |
Re: Sullen
Awesome poem...really like "sun slips through butterfingers" really textural imagery. Sometimes I feel like you could condense what you say in order to make it more concise, for example; "more and more and more". But what I like above all is your freedom and uninhibited verse. Keep feeling and writing, Lucy |
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