| Subject: |
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Do I have FD |
| Name: |
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michael |
| Date Posted: |
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Feb 3, 08 - 8:44 PM |
| Email: |
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michael_casper@verizon.net |
| Message: |
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Unlike the common descriptions of FD that include frequent hospital and doctor visits, I only go when needed and have never been to a hospital with faked symptoms. However, I have an obsession to have a spinal cord injury and to be paralyzed from the waist or the neck down. Self injury of this sort is extremely difficult but I have tried twice to break my back. In addition to this I have damaged my hearing to the extent I wear hearing aids and i have tried to damage my eyesight so as to become partially blind. Yes, I know this sounds odd. But I love my hearing aids. They give me the opportunity to be vulnerable and at least somewhat disabled. From this I get attention. With a spinal cord injury I anticipate attention, care, empathy, and sympathy. Once again I understand this is a psychological problem. I can pin point the life experience that initiated these compulsions. Without going into details i had a very bad childhood with teenage parents, a histrionic mother, some mild sexual abuse, and a number of very traumatic experiences.
I am however very intelligent (mensa qualified), I have a BSEE and an MBA, I have a successful career with a 6 figure income, etc. Nonetheless I fell empty without a significant physical disability. Finally, once disabled, I would not want to visit doctors frequently, I would just emmerse myself in the life of paraplegic or quadriplegic.
So, is this factitious disorder or something else?
Thanks |
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