| Subject: |
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Re: Re: Re: How to get mom to back off |
| Name: |
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WhiteWolf01 |
| Date Posted: |
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Jul 28, 08 - 11:33 PM |
| Email: |
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comments@heartofmorpeth.com |
| Website: |
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http://heartofmorpeth.com |
| Message: |
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I wonder if this is simply a natural mothering instinct gong over the top, rather than treat her as a toddler simply just change the subject without being contraversial with her talk about the oncoming depression, schools, education, her favourite movie so if she does starts rambling about health matters direct her onto something else.
Sometimes parents do worry and worry without need often simple reassurance can provide a solution to me your mum sounds like she's insecure
However sometimes it can turn into an obsession and the one way to get a person away from obsessive thoughts is to talk to them on a different subject, distract their mind and don't let them become polarised.
Obsessions like hypochondria are dangerous, some could perceive stamp collection as an obsession or train spotting or bird watching, drinking, computer games, and of course health, e.g. washing hands for instance, food etc. etc, in fact anything the mind is switched on to that causes an unusual or overt reaction for a sustained period of time could be classed as such.
You need to distract your mum away from these thoughts and away from her insecurity. Before you see your mum next write down a few things that you could use, a list of around five or six subjects, then when she starts to talk about it interject, with hey did you hear about .. My isnt it hot today, I heard that you get the drift. Did you hear what happened to Auntie Ida - humour also works well, go on you tube find some funny things to talk about, President Bush or Obama depending on your leaning. Tell a Joke!. and if your desperate make something up - but make it funny.
As for Auntie Ida, it is a good a technique because if you have not got good old Auntie the first response is going to be "but we haven't got ..... or who's she? Immediatly though you have distracted the original thought patterns try it - [:D
Your mum does need distracting from these thoughts, do this and gradually her thoughts will become less intense, but the secret is not to let her know that it is you who are manipulating the situation. You only get one mum try to make it better for her and you...also a hug when she starts on is another distracting technique, it is surprising what a hands on affectionate approach can achieve in terms of relaxing the situation. In the end you may find that she simply just cares to much. Could care become an obsession? I would have thought so. |
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