Hi Godisfaithful,

Something similar happened to me.

If you feel you are starting to get on that 'downward spiral' then make an appointment right away with your doctor and get back on the medication if needed. Don't feel bad about having to still take medication if you need it. It is better to go for help right away and stop the spiral, rather than spiral down and down because then it takes longer to get back up.

I wish I had done this, because I waited too long and I spiraled again very far down. But, (and here's that 'but' again, but in a positive sense!) I have a friend who felt that she was spiraling down when coming off her medication, and then she went to the doctor right away, got back on, and is doing well.

And, see a counsellor also if you are able/if this has helped you.

I pray for God's hand to work in your life as you fulfil the purpose he has for you...even though part of that purpose right now is dealing with the 'ugliness' of depression...something that none of us I am sure would choose...

I guess I'm hesitating on the decision to go back on them because I've kept thinking, "it's just hormones" or "it's just my circumstances at this moment..." it's as if i'm trying to will it away. and by it of course i mean depression. it's just so frustrating because i really was doing better! it just seems like the first thing life throws at me and i just crumble... well, that's not true, it's always one thing after another and they build up i guess... but i'm rambling...

thanks for the prayers..

Hi Godisfaithful,

I guess it depends on your diagnosis.

I was diagnosed with circumstancial depression at first, but after two severe bouts (that I recognize as clinical depression in retrospect) and two "crashes" (close to non-functional depression) I was finally diagnosed with depression as a chemical imbalance which is part of the "way I was made".

I felt the way that you do (symptoms starting to return) which was set off by my stressful circumstances (the main ones include: terminal illness and eventual death of a close friend, grad studies, increased workload at work, discipline/disrespect issues with my students at work, and conflict with the employee I supervised at work). I was also off of my medication. But I thought that I was doing okay and just naturally reacting to stressful circumstances. When I noticed symptoms returning, I went to the doctor, but, because at that time my diagnosis was circumstancial, she told me that my body was just getting used to being on the medication (and I was at such a low dose at the time that the medication wasn't having much effect anyway), so to try to cope with other coping strategies that I've learned. I kept going without medication and eventually "crashed" into the near non-functioning state.

If your diagnosis is chemical, then don't wait.

See also the comment by Sarita on August 3 to tina's post on July 27...it sure encouraged me!

Laurie,

Praise God, He was able to encourage you through me.

Thank you for sharing your encouragement.

May we all be used by God to keep encouraging us all on this journey of life with Him.

God Bless,

Hi Godisfaithful,

You had mention you were on meds for 4.5 years. Were you diagnosed at that time. That seems to be a long time to be on meds for circumstantial depression.

I just want to share with you something about me. I have been struggling with depression majority of my life. I became a Christian at the age of 20. I was not put on meds until I was 25, that is when I decided to get professional help and did not realize what was going on with me. Depression was normal for me, but getting to non-functional area and extremely suicidal was not.

Well my dh and I was so shocked when I was told I would be on meds for the rest of my life. I was not told my dianosis. I was told I would be on the meds.

Well 14 years later I finally understand what the doctor was saying. I wish he was clearer then.

In those 14 years I have been on and off medicine. I was so ashamed I had to take medicine. I had been around to many uneducated Christian leaders who condemned anti-depressants. I was so naive about the illness as well. I just listen to their leadership.

Well I have evaluated my life and realized that the doctor was trying to say I was clinical depressed but obviously did not know how to explain it at the time. Perhaps he was on too many meds himself. I don't know. In the meantime I have researched this illness quite a bit as well.

I share all this to say. You don't need to be ashamed to be on the medicine. It is like those who need insulin for diabetes or low blood pressure medicine for those to lower there blood pressure, because it is a genetic disease.

If you truly are diagnosed in needing the medicine. than get back on the medicine. It is truly a blessing God has provided the medicine to help us. Do not let the devil steal that away from you. God does not want us spiraling down all the time. He loves us, He wants the best for us in our condition.

I will be praying for you to know what is the right thing to do.

God Bless,

Thank you all for your advice and encouragement and most of all your prayers. I've always been uncertain about the nature of my depression. Apparently it was diagnosed as chemical at one point because they put me on the meds and they helped for awhile... I'll try to keep monitoring myself as closely as I can and figure out what to do...