Dear Hope,
You are not alone. God has promised never to leave you or forsake you. We live in a fallen world and you have a chemical imbalance. It is not your fault. God made your body and mind and He knows exactly how you feel. Hold on to what you know is true, even if you can't feel Him. He is still there.
I have had depression all of my life. I understand how you feel. Remember this is a season. It will not go on forever. Has your Dr. suggested antidepressants?
This has been a lifesaver for me.
I am praying for God to sustain you and put other christians around you to lift you up. Stay in fellowship and try not to isolate.
God has a plan for you, sometimes He uses these situations so that you will be able to help others.
God Bless you and hold on.
Your sister Liz