Hello
I just joined now.

I have been suffering from depression for just under 2 years.
I became a christian while away at college and there was some very unplesant psycological stuff going on with me and other people at the time as well but i didnt get very good support and the anxiety got worse cos i was fighting though it thinking that the devil was attacking me so i ignored it.
I feel like i was treated largely like a product and not one of the guys, this made me more depressed as i had dropped all my drinking mates or rather they dropped me after i stopped go out with them.
I struggled with my course and ended up droping out and returning home, my home life is not easy i live with my parents.
I have kept in touch with people from the church i became christian in but its more like a sence of duty as they made me christian and i dont want to let them or God down.
Now things have changed within me with in a matter of days my sister had a baby girl a few days ago and ive been to see herv (she is beutiful and so precious) and now suddenly my priorities have changed and i really feel like i need to get up and move foward and not have old news on my shoulders dragging me along while my niece is growing up.
Im at a difficult stage in my depression recovery as i need to look for work again soon and my memory and conversational concentration and confidence is not up to much. But i know i need to look after my self too.
I use facebook and have now deleted all but one of these 'friends' from my account all my other primary and high school friends and such are still there.
This one person i have not deleted was the only one who i got to know really well as a human, she was the only one who visited me in hospital after i freaked out and ended up in hospital, no one else was particulaly bothered.

I know it will seem obvious to you all that i should drop them but its all so much more complicated and i have prayed so long and had and for each individual person to restore our friendship or initiate our friendship to no avail.
I have wrote and tried but i always hit the same wall.
and they still do not want to come and visit me even though i have asked, they are always friends but i need more i need friendship and im not getting it from them.
But will God be angry with me for not forgiving them and trying evening though i have prayed and prayed and handed it over again and again.
please help.
Sorry this is very long.
Much love and prayers for each of you that read this into your own individual situations.
Lisaxx

Hi Lisa,
Welcome to the sight.
I am glad to hear you have become a Christian. That is wonderful!!!
You have had to leave a lot of your friends behind but that's what happens when God changes your desires and gives you new ones.
I would suggest you finding a good church in your area. You need to be fed by the preaching of the word and good Christian fellowship for support.
It sounds like you are starting a new chapter in your life and it's time to leave the past in the past. Let your, "Old friends" go, and open your heart to the new ones God will bring into your life.
People will always let you down and forsake you but God never will. As you grow in Him, He will become your best friend and He, through His word, will be your guide.
God says to forgive as you have been forgiven. It is necessary that you do that (Matt 18:21-22). You might not feel like doing it but feelings don't always go along with obeying God and His word. God hears your prayers but many times His answer is no and we need to trust Him and move on.
I will be praying for you. Please keep us posted.
Love in Christ
laura

Thank you for you welcome and kind reply.

I am part of a wonderful simple church here where i live and am part of a lovely bible study group who know about me and support me.

I am finding forgiveness very hard to grasp, as to me to forgive someone you are giving in and realising what they did was right. I can never do that, i dont understand the concept of say if someone was raped (i was not) but as an example i dont understand how they can forgive there attacker. I dont understand the concept of forgiveness is it like letting go and accepting what happened to you. This is one of my questions i have never felt right in asking cos its like asking how to walk.

thank you
Lisa

Dear Lisa,
Oh, I am glad you are in a good fellowship. That is so important to all of us.

As far as forgiveness is concerned, it has nothing to do with condoning a persons sin. It has more to do with our spiritual condition. If we don't forgive, we have a tendency to harbor bitterness and resentment in our heart towards the offender. It cripples our walk with the Lord and it can also be a great hindrance in our relationship. Forgiving someone NEVER says that what they did was right.
God will judge them and vengeance is His (Rom 12:19-21)
If they ask for forgiveness then we are commanded to forgive, but if they don't, then we still must not harbor any bitter feelings. It is not an easy thing to do but walking the narrow road and obeying Christ is difficult at times.
God can heal someone's heart if they are willing to let go of their anger and hatred. There are too many testimonies out there of Christians who have been terribly abused and tortured but God gave them a love and compassion for their enemies. Never limit God to what He can do.
When Christ was on the cross He said, "Father forgive them for they know not what they do". That is the love of God. He had compassion on the very people who crucified Him. Who are we, not forgive those who have hurt us.
You just said it in your email"......the concept of forgiveness is like letting go and accepting what happened to you". That is absolutely correct. You accept what happens, let go and give it to the Lord.
When you do that, you are free to love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you and pray for those who persecute you (Matt 5:43-48).
God bless
laura