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Re: A must read book

Hi Kimberly,
Oh I am so sorry to hear about your brother. I don't know what you or your parents are going through because it has never happened to me. I can only imagine the pain and heartache. I know you never get over something like that.

There is a new medication called Pristiq. Have you tried that? I don't know what the side affects are but you can look into it.
Yes, the side affects can be quite terrible. There are some I don't do well on either.
Do you have a good DR?? Someone you feel really cares about you? That's important.
Do you have a good church with people who are supportive? Are your parents understanding of your depression?
Don't feel like you have to answer. I know these are personal questions and you might feel uneasy answering them. Don't worry, I won't get offended.
Write when you can and thank you for your prayers!!
laura

Re: A must read book

Yes, you are right. Losing my brother to suicide is something I will NEVER get over. I just pray to get through it. I can hardly write about it without crying.

No, I have never tried Pristiq. I'll have to look that one up. Thankfully I do have a caring doctor, but he can only do so much. I'm terribly sad and feeling hopeless because my marriage has been bad from the very first month. That's when I discovered that my new husband was and still is a drug addict. Seven years later it is more than I can bare.

You'd think I would have known about it before we got married, but the truth is that he is an expert at putting on a false facade. Add his infidelity to my already wounded heart and I feel like "living" has given way to just existing from one day to the next. That in itself is enough to cause depression. But for someone who already has depression it's a horrible way to live. I'll let you know.
Kimberly

My parent's are supportive to a degree. As much as they can be without having this illness themselves. I don't know why my brother and I got the short end of the stick? The one thing I don't have is a caring or supportive church. Sounds familiar, doesn't it?

Btw, I ordered the book that you recommended. I hope it will help to lift some of my hopelessness. Thank you for your prayers too. I will let you know about the book.
Kimberly

Re: A must read book

I don't know how I ended up with duplicate sentences in the post above?

Re: A must read book

Kimberly,
One thing I have found is that people who have never suffered from clinical depression don't understand the disease. I didn't either before I got it. I used to think that people should just, "get over it" and move on. Boy did the Lord show me. I had to learn the hard way. Now I realize there are two types of depression. One is situational and the other is clinical. People have a tendency to lump the two together. But you know all about that. Family members and friends just don't understand. That's why having this disease isolates us. If it were cancer or something like that, everyone would know how to deal with that, but depression is foreign to them. The worse persecution comes from other Christians. They say, and I used to too, that Christians who suffer with this illness, are either in sin or don't have enough faith. Yes, that can be true but with clinical depression, it is a chemical imbalance and our brain just gets out of whack.

Your marriage sounds very difficult. I too, have an unhappy marriage but not like yours. I blamed myself for the longest time for marrying my husband. I knew what he was like but I married him anyway. I had to learn to forgive myself. I knew God had, so I could do no less.

Kimberly, God really does have a purpose in all this. I know you feel alone and God probably seems like a million miles away but if you are one His, and it sounds like you are, then He has not forsaken you. Some of the greatest preachers in history have suffered with depression. Spurgeon, Brainard, Luther, and Cowper, just to name a few.

This life we live is only a fleeting moment compared to an eternity in heaven. One day, this will all be over and the race will be finished. I know, dear one, how dark the pit can be. I know how terrified we can feel at times. Our mind is in a prison and we just can't escape so we cry out to God and He is silent. We panic and we get angry. How could God let us go through this if He really loved us? I have felt all of that and when I go through my season of mental illness, I am tempted to feel that way again.
Kimberly, all of this is hard but no matter what, God will never let you go. I have been at the edge of the cliff with my body starting to fall but He NEVER lets me go. I feel the panic and anxiety of falling but yet He is always there. I don't know why He allows all of this but I do know, He will never forsake me or let me be destroyed. And one day, He will call me home and my job on this earth will be over.
Look to Him, dear one, even though you barely can, look to Him. You won't feel like it but do it anyway.

I have some great stuff written by Christians who suffer from depression. Their writings have been so encouraging to me.

Kimberly, your marriage sounds awful but believe it or not, God is working in that too. You have remained with your husband and that takes courage and commitment that most people don't have.
The way I like to think about it is, I am enduring my marriage for my Lord. It is God, I am suffering for NOT mu hubby. When you see it that way, it makes it much more bearable. You are investing your time and energy in God, and He will reward your faithfulness.

I know this is long but I just felt like I had to say what I did. I am glad you got the book I recommended. Steve also does phone counseling. I have been in contact with him and he is just a great guy. I think the book will really help you.

I hope I haven't offended you in anything I have said but if something has worked for me then I just have to share it with others.
Talk to ya later
In Christ
laura