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Re: A must read book

Kimberly,
One thing I have found is that people who have never suffered from clinical depression don't understand the disease. I didn't either before I got it. I used to think that people should just, "get over it" and move on. Boy did the Lord show me. I had to learn the hard way. Now I realize there are two types of depression. One is situational and the other is clinical. People have a tendency to lump the two together. But you know all about that. Family members and friends just don't understand. That's why having this disease isolates us. If it were cancer or something like that, everyone would know how to deal with that, but depression is foreign to them. The worse persecution comes from other Christians. They say, and I used to too, that Christians who suffer with this illness, are either in sin or don't have enough faith. Yes, that can be true but with clinical depression, it is a chemical imbalance and our brain just gets out of whack.

Your marriage sounds very difficult. I too, have an unhappy marriage but not like yours. I blamed myself for the longest time for marrying my husband. I knew what he was like but I married him anyway. I had to learn to forgive myself. I knew God had, so I could do no less.

Kimberly, God really does have a purpose in all this. I know you feel alone and God probably seems like a million miles away but if you are one His, and it sounds like you are, then He has not forsaken you. Some of the greatest preachers in history have suffered with depression. Spurgeon, Brainard, Luther, and Cowper, just to name a few.

This life we live is only a fleeting moment compared to an eternity in heaven. One day, this will all be over and the race will be finished. I know, dear one, how dark the pit can be. I know how terrified we can feel at times. Our mind is in a prison and we just can't escape so we cry out to God and He is silent. We panic and we get angry. How could God let us go through this if He really loved us? I have felt all of that and when I go through my season of mental illness, I am tempted to feel that way again.
Kimberly, all of this is hard but no matter what, God will never let you go. I have been at the edge of the cliff with my body starting to fall but He NEVER lets me go. I feel the panic and anxiety of falling but yet He is always there. I don't know why He allows all of this but I do know, He will never forsake me or let me be destroyed. And one day, He will call me home and my job on this earth will be over.
Look to Him, dear one, even though you barely can, look to Him. You won't feel like it but do it anyway.

I have some great stuff written by Christians who suffer from depression. Their writings have been so encouraging to me.

Kimberly, your marriage sounds awful but believe it or not, God is working in that too. You have remained with your husband and that takes courage and commitment that most people don't have.
The way I like to think about it is, I am enduring my marriage for my Lord. It is God, I am suffering for NOT mu hubby. When you see it that way, it makes it much more bearable. You are investing your time and energy in God, and He will reward your faithfulness.

I know this is long but I just felt like I had to say what I did. I am glad you got the book I recommended. Steve also does phone counseling. I have been in contact with him and he is just a great guy. I think the book will really help you.

I hope I haven't offended you in anything I have said but if something has worked for me then I just have to share it with others.
Talk to ya later
In Christ
laura