I too feel as you do, less hop for us Christians. My pastor just htis week told me that depression is a choice, not a chemical issue. I have trid to commit suicide three times in the last few years. Not good.My hope was to get encouragemetn, not judgement.
Hang in there, we do have God with us. I know it is hard, I too am were you are.
Go to a regular Psychiatrist and then find a new church!!!! You need help and they are not giving it to you. There is hope, and the right medication can make all the difference. Get the help you need and if your church judges you for it, then you don't need them. Depression is not something to play around with. Jesus wants you to be healthy and whole and he uses regular doctors everyday to help his own people. You are loved!