Because my testimony is helping so many people, I am posting it here so it will stay on your front page for awhile if that's ok with you. The many entries in my guest book that is accessible towards the bottom of the front page on my site, and the many positive emails in my email file folders, show that the content of my testimony is helping many people.

http://greater-emmanuel.org/Hope4You/
(nothing for sale on this site)

Also see the testimonies at http://www.tentmaker.org/visitorcomments.htm

MY TESTIMONY

The idea that God lets any creature suffer endlessly has caused me more suffering than all other problems of my life combined. By the time I had reached the mission field I had hoped to have found a satisfactory answer that would justify God allowing this to happen. I didn't find such an answer. Surrounded by thousands of people, dozens of whom were dying every day and beginning an eternity of suffering in hell was too much for me.

In 1966, at age 28, it caused me to have a nervous breakdown. For several weeks I was confined to my bed in a state of terror night and day. The terror was caused by the fear of what a God I could not love or respect would do to me after I died. It took me twelve years to fully recover from the breakdown. I quickly became agnostic, for the Christian gospel and the Bible were no longer any comfort to me at all. Many evangelical friends tried to help me. They meant well, but in the end they all had only words of condemnation towards me. This added more suffering to my already intense suffering.

Gradually I began to learn that there have been, in centuries past, and still are today, a few people in the world that see a different kind of God in the Bible. They see a God who will not let any creature suffer forever. They see a God in the Bible who will change every second of everyone's suffering into something better that it happened, including the sufferings of Satan. I learned that a correctly (literally) translated Bible teaches universal transformation, not endless suffering in hell, or even annihilation. I read dozens of books, and listened to hundreds of tapes by men who believe this way and I gradually became converted to believing this way myself.

Since 1981, through my newspaper ads and my telephone ministry, I have sent out many hundreds of packets of literature explaining why I believe as I do. I have also sent this evidence to hundreds of pastors and Bible school teachers. None of them have told me that they are able to refute it. I have also read eight books that were supposed to refute the evidence in favor of universalism, but none of them do. Because of this evidence, my panic attacks became less frequent until twelve years after my breakdown they ceased altogether. Now nothing gives me greater pleasure than to make this evidence available to others who have suffered because of the same problem I had even though they have embraced Christ and His gospel for themselves, and I use a substantial amount of my money and time to this end.

Because of the enormous amount of suffering the idea of "endless hell" causes in this world, I am asking you to consider the possibility that you should stop endorsing the idea that the Bible teaches it. Or, at least, let others know that there are (and have been in centuries past) people who do not think the Bible teaches it.

Many of the responses from pastors and teachers range from a mild: "The majority don't agree with you so you must be wrong", to the vicious "For every week you leave your ad in the papers, God will increase the temperature of the fires of hell for you personally".
Most are somewhere in between these remarks. But none have told me they are able to refute the evidence. And, until they can, they will not be able to stop me from sharing the good news that a correctly (literally) translated Bible teaches universal transformation, not endless suffering in hell, or even annihilation.

A website that answers all the arguments that seem to support the idea that the Bible teaches endless suffering in hell is TENTMAKER. Although forum rules prevent me from posting forum links, you can easily Google it up. The “scholar’s corner” under “research” deals with every aspect of the subject. The more than 600 page search engine at the top of this same TENTMAKER front page is also very comprehensive regarding this subject. Just type in a key word or phrase from any argument or scripture passage, and ten articles will appear that refute the eternal hell and annihilation doctrines.

I am also going to guide you all to the testimony of a man whose experience was almost identical to mine. Even the thought processes that took him into, through, and out of his breakdown are the same as mine. Only he is much more eloquent in telling his story than I am in telling mine. His name is Charles Slagle.
http://www.tentmaker.org/books/Absolute-Assurance-in-Jesus-Christ.html

My name is Rodger Tutt. I am 68 years old. I could have avoided a horrific twelve year nervous breakdown had I known as a youth about the following information concerning what a correctly (literally, not interpretively) translated Bible teaches

You can access my website through Google by typing in Rodger Tutt, or
My website is http://greater-emmanuel.org/Hope4You/

You can also access most of the following writings through Google by typing in the title.

BOOKS THAT SHOW THAT THE BIBLE TEACHES UNIVERSAL SALVATION, THE ENTIRE CONTENTS OF WHICH CAN BE READ ONLINE

0. ABSOLUTE ASSURANCE IN JESUS CHRIST – Charles Slagle
http://www.tentmaker.org/books/Absolute-Assurance-in-Jesus-Christ.html
1. HOPE BEYOND HELL - Gerry Beauchemin (recently published)
http://www.hopebeyondhell.net/index.html
2. CHRIST TRIUMPHANT - Thomas Allin
http://www.tentmaker.org/books/ChristTriumphant.htm
3. THE BIBLE HELL - J.W. Hanson
http://www.tentmaker.org/books/TheBibleHell.html
4. THE ORIGON AND HISTORY OF THE DOCTRINE OF ENDLESS PUNISHMENT – Thomas Thayer
http://www.tentmaker.org/books/OriginandHistory.html
5. THE OUTCOME OF INFINITE GRACE – Dr. Loyal Hurley
http://www.tentmaker.org/books/infinitegrace.htm
6. JUST WHAT DO YOU MEAN "HELL" - J. Preston Eby
http://www.tentmaker.org/articles/savior-of-the-world/hell.htm
7. ONE HUNDRED SCRIPTURAL PROOFS THAT JESUS CHRIST WILL SAVE ALL MANKIND - Thomas Whittemore
http://www.tentmaker.org/books/ScripturalProofs.html
8. TWENTY-FOUR SERMONS ON UNIVERSAL SALVATION – John Bovee Dods
http://www.tentmaker.org/Bovee2.htm#Top
9. THE SECOND DEATH AND THE RESTITUTION OF ALL THINGS – Andrew Jukes
http://www.tentmaker.org/restitutionindex.htm
10. ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY REASONS FOR BELIEVING IN THE FINAL SALVATION OF ALL MANKIND – Erasmus Manford
http://www.tentmaker.org/books/150reasons.html
11. THE RICH MAN AND LAZARUS – J. Patching
http://www.tentmaker.org/books/RichManandLazarus-Patching.html
12. BIBLE TRANSLATIONS THAT DO NOT TEACH ETERNAL TORMENT – Gary Amirault
http://www.tentmaker.org/books/GatesOfHell.html
13. AION – AIONIOS – John Wesley Hanson
http://www.tentmaker.org/books/Aion_lim.html
14. BIBLE THREATENINGS EXPLAINED – John Wesley Hanson
http://www.tentmaker.org/books/BibleThreateningsExplained.html
15. THE CASE OF JUDAS, ETCETERA
http://www.tentmaker.org/books/asw/Chapter16.html
16. THE PROBLEM OF EVIL – John Essex
AND THE ROLE OF THE ADVERSARY – James Webb
http://www.tentmaker.org/articles/TheProblemofEvil.html
17. HIS ACHIEVEMENT ARE WE – James Coram
http://concordant.org/expohtml/HisAchievement/index.html

I am so sorry for all you went thru. I have been in & out of the hospital for depression so many times I have lost count. It can be easy to get angry with God & turn away from Him. He could stop the pains of this world and end all illness & suffering. The only answer I ever really Got from him about why He did not make my depression stop was "I wasn't alone He was right there holding my hand" I think sometimes God lets us go thru things like depression to give us empathy for others & to let us learn about this illness like those who have never had it themselves never can. I am sorry you lost your faith in God for a while (happens to everyone sometime even if they have no illnesses) I am however a little confused. When I went to your website I found a lot of statments about Hell not being forever & that all people will be save but I saw no biblical documentation at all to back this belief up. I am not saying you are wrong everyone is entitled to there own ideas & beliefs. I went & looked up Universalism and found some verses from the Bible that claimed to support the idea. However I did not get the same things out of them that others apparently got. What I read said that our sins had been paid for yes but I did not say that we did not have to accept that we were sinners and admiit to God that we needed salvation. John 3:16-17 says God so loved the world that He sent his only begotten son that whosoever believieth in Him shall be saved. God sent not His Son unto the world to condem (mispelled) it but that the world thru Him might be saved. however John 3:18 thru 20 clearly say that you must believe or you are condemed (You can't just think that God is good & will therefore send no one to Hell yes God is good very good. However Salvation (the only way to escape hell) it is like a gift that you are offered, you have to accept it or it does not belong to you. God sends no man to hell man condems hiself to hell by not accepting the free gift of eternal liefyou choose to send yourself to hell. Hell is real & you can't change your mind after judgement day. I am not sure of the verse right now but the Bible say those who do not believe are eternally dammed. To me it is sorta like when my Dad taught in high school & kids would come up to me & say he flunked them. My standard responses was did he flunk you did you flunk yourself. I am by no means saying that everyone who does not confess God & accept the gift of salvation is going to hell The bible mentions a age of accountablity(this would include children not old enough to understand & those who were mentally incapasitated either born that way or became that way before they reached the age of accountabilty. Salvation is a gift & those who don't except if will be allowed by their decison to not accept the gift to go to hell. at least that is what my Bible says. If you can explain these things away please tell me how. You may know something I don't know. I just would not want someone to take the seconds it takes to accept that gift not do so because they believe God will save them anyway. This is not a debate forum but I tried to send you a personal email & it came back. I hope I have not hurt or upset you. that was not my intention I care about you and others that is why I wrote. Like I said this is not a debate forum so I will not reply here again to your testimony. You can reach me at france@htcomp.net if you have any insight to offer me. I am more than will to listen with a open mind & heart again I am so sorry for your pain believe me I was called to be a missionary myself & then I ended up with chronic clincal depression & beleive me the Baptist General Convention sees me as weak & unworthy to do the job I was called by God to do, that is their choice but they will have to explain to God about the matter not me. Christians can be very judmenental of the mentally ill but God understand & He is with us He is our source of help & is ever present.