My name is Laurie, and this is my first time on the site.
A few days ago I was diagnosed with chronic clinical depression. This means I'll be on medication (and therapy) for probably the rest of my life, in order to manage the chemical imbalance. My body chemistry is out of wack...and I can't change this!
I have struggled with it for about ten years now (maybe a bit more) and until now, the diagnosis has been situational.
I have had four major depressive episodes. I am currently recovering from my fourth 'bout'. For the last two bouts, I haven't been able to function normally in everyday responsibilities. The first two bouts, I managed to barely 'scrape through', while still keeping up with all of my daily responsibilities. (Symptoms: decreased appetite/not eating, sleeping too much and too little, suicidal/negative thoughts, lack of concentration/daily tasks take longer, body 'slows down', neglect self care because everything takes longer and more effort/don't care/apathy, sensitive to noise, paralyzing fear, paranoia)
I have learned what seems to trigger my depression: being around people too much and being responsible for a lot of conflict resolution.
Ironically, I have been a teacher for the past five years!
I have resigned from my last teaching position because of the depression in order to pursue a more suitable role. I'm so sad. I loved my last workplace, but know I can't handle/wasn't 'wired' for the teaching role I was hired for at the workplace.
I am so scared. After every episode, I vowed that I would do everything I could to prevent another episode. I worked hard to prevent it from happening again. Now the diagnosis is that my condition is chronic, and that I will likely struggle with this for the rest of my life. I'm only 28.
I'm also scared because I'm tired of hiding. I want to be open about this illness when appropriate (necessary?) to do so.
I have two questions:
1. Does anyone have any experience with "disclosing" the illness in the workplace? What did/didn't you say? What was the result?
2. Also, is anyone else out there diagnosed as chronically dealing with depression? I'd love to hear your stories, especially if you are older and have struggled with this all of your life...I'd love to know how you coped/managed and what kept you going because right now I am so scared about a life of pain that awaits me knowing that I will always have to fight this illness. I get so tired of fighting. But, I know I am put here on earth by God for a reason, and that there is a plan and a purpose for me even though I have this illness. My faith in God has gotten me through all of my bouts in the past. Does it (fighting this illness) get easier? My husband is supportive, but it has been really hard on my marriage.
I know this message is long, but it really helps me to keep perspective by writing things out.
Thanks for taking the time to read a bit about me.
If you'd like to respond, I'd love to hear from you, either on this message board or via my e-mail.
Thanks for sharing. I think you can get some answers from the testimony section. You can even email the ones who made entries. I think there are a few who mention history and how they have been dealing with illness.
I would like to share mine, but not today. I have to go, my husband is calling for some help.
