Hi Shari,
It sounds like your losing a job and turning 18 was a trigger for depression for you. God loves you even if you don't feel like He does. It sounds like you are struggling with what to do and it seems so overwhelming at times. I hope you will talk with someone that you trust and not do anything drastic. Feelings change and if you live on them you will be on a wild roller coaster.
I pray that God will direct your path and lead you to a good counselor, perhaps at church or on a college campus. Talking to your family doctor is a good start. Sometimes antideppression medication is helpful. Eating well, sleeping at least 8 hours and exercise is also helpful. Reading the Psalms and writing in a journal are other things that you could do.
Remember that God made you and He loves you not for what you do, but for who you are...a child of the creator of everything!!! You are an adult, but you are a child of God which is really something to think about.
