I sit here another Sunday, dissapointed in myself for not making it to church. I used to be there every time the doors were open. I have been a Christian since I was fifteen but for the past fifteen years I have been seriously depressed and struggling with ocd/anxiety. I don't know where I stand spiritually anymore. I can't seem to pray or read my Bible. When I do make it to church, I don't seem to get any better. It seems to take so much out of me even to make the effort to go to church anymore. I feel like even my pastor has given up on me. Nobody understands me, I feel like they think I just lay out of church because I don't care. It's hard to go to church and see everyone else rejoicing and being fed spiritually and there I am a sad sack that no one can seem to help. I don't know what to do. I feel like God is angry with me, but I don't understand why I don't get help when I make the effort to do whats right.

I have also felt this way in the past.

If your church really loves you, they will accept you if and when they know the truth.

That is what happened with me.

I just returned in August to church after having not gone for five months.

Have you been to see a family doctor (to start) and a good counsellor?

These are good places to start.

Ocd/anxiety/depression are awful things, but they are manageable. One person close to be even said that it is possible to do more than manage.

I myself am just at the managing stage at the moment (perhaps a bit beyond). I do not have the diagnosis of ocd, but I do have severe recurrent depression and anxiety.

So, there are people out there that understand and that are living proof that a better quality of life is possible. "It is never to late to be what you might have been." I like that quote.

I pray for you to find the places you need for the support you need.

Laurie

Wow! I thought I was the only one who has felt that way about church. Thank you so much for sharing! It has also been difficult for me to go to church for the same reasons you described. What I have been learning is that with depression etc. most of the time what goes on in my head isn't reality or isn't what people are thinking about me etc. I think that part of depression does involve; at least for me a great deal of self centerness/self reflection etc. Its when my eyes/mind are focused on Christ that I get relief. Also with a perika st. johns wort that I believe is Gods way of healing my chemical depression; all natural