Sorry about the angry rant yesterday. I let my emotions get the best of me. I just get irritated when my Christian faith is constantly challenged, scorned, or mocked by the unbelieving world. I have to learn to respond with compassion, as Christ would.
Tom,
I used to get mad at non Christians but finally it donned on me, they are only doing what comes naturally. You have been born again and you have a new nature, they don't. Once you realize this, then their behavior shouldn't cause you to be so distressed. You are just passing through this earth. You are a citizen of another country. It is not your home, so of course you are going to feel uncomfortable in it.
Remember, the world hates Christ so they will hate you, that's a given.
Don't argue with them, that just adds fuel to the fire. I have found that if you are just silent, they will go away.
Having a mental illness doesn't help either but trust in God and ask Him to give you a compassion and love for others. It's His love in you, not yours. We can't love our enemies but He can, through us.
And last but not least. Christ forgave you and had compassion on you while you were a vile sinner just like the very people you are angry with. You were them, at one time, never forget that.
How are doing with the medication?? I know it takes awhile for it to kick in but keep us posted on how it's helping.
God bless
laura
Thanks for the helpful advice. It's only been a week since I started up the meds again. I think it's helping some so far. My emotions feel a little more controlable. I just can't bear to think about the future. It is too frightening.
I wish God would just evacuate me up to where He is. I want to go home to heaven. It would solve so many problems for me if God would just take me to be with Himself. In fact, it would solve all of my problems. I know it's selfish and lazy and mean, but I just can't endure all of the problems that I would have to face if God made me continue to live on earth.
People would think I was very crazy if I told anyone this, but I pray for the Lord to take me in my sleep on many nights. I ask Him to give me a silent heart attack in my sleep, and let me wake up with Him in heaven. I feel like such a selfish creep for wanting that, but I can't help it. It's what I want. Pretending otherwise wouldn't accomplish anything. Long enough ramble.
