Hi Tom.
I'm glad to hear you are back on medication. Yeah, the side affects can be murder. Fortunately Zoloft doesn't cause weight gain so I am happy about that. It does cause insomnia though and other weird things but all in all, it keeps the depression at bay.

Tom don't be too hard on yourself. We all cope the best we know how. Having a mental illness is really hard. It's like being in a dark hole sometimes and even though in the depth of our being, we trust the Lord, we still have to cope with, and battle with, our flesh. Sometimes it takes all of our strength and energy just to get through the day let alone try to fight problems of over eating and lack of exercise. I am not trying to make excuses. We should always keep fighting but sometimes we are just too weak to do anything.
My main goal in having a mental illness is simply to praise and thank God no matter how badly I feel or how badly I mess up. God knows my heart and when I mess up, I just thank Him for dying on the cross for ALL my sins, past, present and future.
Keep fighting but when you mess up, learn to rest in Him. He paid the price. You will make it to heaven not on any of your merits but simply by His shed blood.
Just let His grace pick you up and move on rejoicing in Him.
By grace alone
laura