Living is hell. I wish I would die. I would kill myself, but I don't have the courage to do it. I wish that I had never been born. I wish that I had never existed at all. I curse the day that I was born. This garbage life cannot be allowed to continue. I must come up with a plan to end my life. Then I must find the courage to go through with it.

Tom,
You are having a bad season.
We have all felt at one time or another that death would be sweet, BUT, God gave you your first breath and He will take your last. No matter what you feel or experience, God has set a boundary for pain and darkness. It may be severe at times but He will not let you be destroyed or overcome.
Praying for you
laura