Hello,
I have placed a few posts in the recent past. I am currently 30 weeks pregnant and not on my medication for depression d/t risks to the baby. I am going through a major depression with anxiety. Prior to getting pregnant, I was stable and fine. I wanted to have a baby and my husband and I planned for it and prayed for it. We got pregnant right away. Now I have nothing but regrets for it as I am suffering soooo much, it is torture. I wish I could go back in time an undo the pregnancy. I had a diagnosis of dysthymia (low grade chronic depression). I have been reading online about double depression and I need to know that there is hope for me, as I could not possibly continue to live like this. This has been hell on earth for me and my husband and I am desperately trying to hang on until I can start my medication again. I have no joy in my life and no joy about this pregnancy. All I have is fear, hopelessness, despair, regret, and pain. I am desperately trying to hold onto my faith. I do not feel God's presence. I need Him to help me. I have many people praying for me but there seems to be no relief. Can someone offer me some encouragement and hope that I can and will recover for this? I will never be able to care or love a child if I am like this.
Desperate for relief,
M.Mary
Dear One,
You sound so much like me when I first got my depression with anxiety. I would lay on the floor and cry my eyes out. My husband had to lift me off the floor cuz I couldn't move. I remember asking him in desperation if I would ever be normal again. He said yes, you just need to give the medication time to work. I didn't think I was going to make it until then. He kept promising me I would be O.K. I made him say it constantly. I needed to hear him say, "honey, I promise you, you will be O.K."
Now I am saying it to you dear Mary....."I promise you, you will be O.K." You are not going to have to live your life feeling this badly. Just try to keep remembering the way you were before you got pregnant. You will have those days again soon.....I promise.
Don't worry or feel guilty about the way you "feel" right now. That will go away once you get back on your medicine.
Honey, I remember asking God, why is He allowing such torture in my mind. I felt so alone and I didn't feel Him at all. He brought me to the very precipice of terror but He never let me go and He will never let you go. He has promised that He will make a way of escape either from the situation or to bear up under the situation (lCor 10:13) and believe it or not, He is there and He will never leave you nor forsake you.
This will be over soon and once you are back on your medication, you will be glad you had a baby but right now all of your energy is in survival mode and you can't think rationally. It's O.K.
Mary, one day, God will let you see why He has allowed you to go through all of this suffering but right now, just take it one day at a time and know, He is the one who will be faithful to you even though you feel like your faith is gone. He will hold on to you, don't worry about holding on to Him.
I PROMISE you are going to be back to normal soon.
I promise!!!
Much love in Christ
laura
You can ask your doctor about zoloft. My doctor told me not to stop it. It doesn't hurt the baby. I took it my whole 9 months of pregnancy and I was fine. I know I couldn't have done without it. My boy is fine and healthy. no problems at all! Also, ask God to come into your heart and remove the enemy against you. Accept His love and the enemy doesn't stand a chance. When we are sick, the devil uses this as a foothold to control our lives. Rebuke him and receive Jesus into your heart by simply confessing the Lord Jesus into your heart. Praying for you and I know God will see you through! Amen and Amen!!
