Wow! I thought I was the only one who has felt that way about church. Thank you so much for sharing! It has also been difficult for me to go to church for the same reasons you described. What I have been learning is that with depression etc. most of the time what goes on in my head isn't reality or isn't what people are thinking about me etc. I think that part of depression does involve; at least for me a great deal of self centerness/self reflection etc. Its when my eyes/mind are focused on Christ that I get relief. Also with a perika st. johns wort that I believe is Gods way of healing my chemical depression; all natural